Consecration is a deep water concept only fully understandable in a religious context so I have been trying to do some pondering with my spiritual eyes this week. I have always directly connected consecration with my relationship with God but have never fully considered its precepts within the framework of marriage. Elder Neil A. Maxwell has said, "Consecration is the only surrender which is also a victory. It brings release from the raucous, overpopulated cell block of selfishness and emancipation from the dark prison of pride" (quoted by H. Wallace Goddard in Drawing Heaven into our Marriage). Who of us is not guilty at some level of pride and selfishness in our relationships or the consequential confines of those natural man tendencies? Who of us does not want to be free from those fetters?
In simple terms, consecration is defined in the New Testament. “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for [Christ’s] sake shall find it. (Matthew 16:25) A similar principle applies to marriage. Only in full immersion and full investment will we find full joy. I love the consecration metaphors that H. Wallace Goddard shares that help us to see the principle more clearly:
- Only the vines connected to the roots will bear fruit.
- Only that part of the car driven into the car wash can be cleaned.
- Only those train cars hooked to the engine can be pulled up the mountain.
- Only that which we bring to the altar can be sanctified and perfected.
We cannot expect to find joy in a marriage in which we are only giving part of ourselves. That is not consecration. We have to give all of ourselves and that means giving up our pride and selfishness as well. H. Wallace Goddard has stated:
Consecration in marriage...requires a transformation of character. In serving and giving...as well as demonstrating patience and continually forgiving our spouses for all the ways they might not meet our expectations, we have the opportunity to emulate Christ, thus transforming ourselves.
...Those who relentlessly demand something better...will be disappointed. Those who give up ...their time, talents, and expectations in service of their families are the ones who get everything…Consecrating ourselves to the Lord isn’t easy but it poses no real risks because we are putting our trust in a perfect being who has no other motive than to help us find joy. Marriage poses all kinds of risks because two imperfect people are putting trust in each other in the process of becoming and that is bound to cause some conflict. My own marriage has had its share of challenges and both my spouse and I have our share of weaknesses but the more we let go of our own greedy grasping for happiness and turn our hearts and hands to the care and comfort of the other, the more we experience the “liberating gift” of forgiveness and the transformation of consecration (James E. Faust, "The Healing Power of Forgiveness,"Ensign, April 2007).
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| My Parents: Invested in Their Marriage for 52 Years |
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